September 15th, 11:50 EST

Three months since a post?  That level of neglect is unacceptable and I send a sincere apology out to all 4 followers.  Ali, أسف and it will not happen again.

It seems like the word "almost" has crippled me a lot lately.  It is a terrible word, a debilitating word that if unchecked takes good men with "potential" and transforms them into "tinkling cymbals" that cannot be trusted because they are "all talk".

I hate the word "almost".  Rarely is the word used to describe something positive.  Okay, "almost" getting killed in a car accident is quite positive.  I'll give you that one.  Generally speaking, the word "almost" cheapens everything it touches.  You think about it...in the bottom of the 9th inning in game 1 of the 1988 World Series, Dennis Eckersley "almost" got Kirk Gibson out (count was full).  In 2002, the Sacramento Kings "almost" beat the Lakers to earn the trip to the NBA Finals.  In 2003, the Chicago Cubs "almost" went to the World Series (freaking Bartman!). 

Sports aside, whenever I hear the word "almost" being used I instantly think of a couple of sad messages that the word inherently delivers to my brain:

The first thing I think of is King Agrippa.  You may remember the story.  Paul is imprisoned for two years and appeals to have his case brought before Caesar, as was his right as a Roman citizen.  In the process of getting to Rome, he is brought before King Agrippa and Paul bears down some unbelievably powerful testimony to the King.  He recounts his experience and shares his witness of the Savior.  He finishes his remarks with this question, "King Agrippa, believest thou the prophets? I know that thou believest."  King Agrippa's response is legendary and chilling, "Then Agrippa said unto Paul, Almost thou persuadest me to be a Christian." (Acts 26:27-28)

Another thing that pops into my mind is the dontalmostgive.org series of PSAs sponsored by the AdCouncil. You may have heard them...

-There's the one about the homeless man who was almost given a ride to the shelter. 

-The hungry kids that almost got food.

-The elderly woman who was almost visited and helped.

These are powerful reminders that "almost doing" is the same as not doing.  Somewhere recently my switch got turned from the "do" position to the "almost do" position and it has stifled my progress in many ways.

Case and point...September 15th, 11:50 EST.  For the last three or four months I have had a magazine clipping on my nightstand.  It called out to me the first time I saw it and I cut it out because it was an open door to challenge myself to do something that I have been thinking and praying about for some time.  It was a call for essays in a writing contest in a nationally circulated magazine.  The winner of the contest would receive $3,000 cash, a trip for two to New York City, and a series of meetings with the editors of the magazine.  It was a great opportunity for me to test my talent and just throw something out there.  That clipping inspired me every day and night to take the chance "just to see" if I could do something great.  The deadline for the competition was September 15th, 11:50 EST.  Plenty of time...

From time to time, I would play out the essay in my mind and I felt like I had something good.  Maybe not great, but with some work it could get there.  But the important point is that I had something to write.  The night before the deadline, I mapped out my idea and framed it in an outline that would meet the 1500 word limit set forth in the contest rules.  To make a long "almost" story short, the next night I wrote furiously only to see the word count at the bottom of the page hit 1248 and the clock hit 8:51 PST.  That window, that chance, had closed.  I "almost" took my first shot at being a published writer.

Now, I know that I am not done and that there are other chances out there.  You can be damn sure that what I did write will be posted on RMIT soon enough.  The point is that "almost" is robbing me.  It is robbing me of time, opportunity, and progress.  "Almost" is everywhere I look.  Do you know that I have "almost" bought a bike to ride for exercise four times since June?  I have "almost" taken the kids down to Mary Lake to go fishing?  I have "almost" magnified my calling as a home teacher 100% this year.  My wife and I have "almost" got serious and booked temple date nights on our 2011-12 calendar.  I "almost" begin to floss my teeth every time I leave the dentist office where I tell the hygienist that I will recommit to flossing.  I "almost" watch what I eat.  I read my scriptures "almost" every day.  I "almost" empty the change in my ash tray and give it to the beggar as a response to his humble petition.  I "almost" turn the TV off.  I "almost" changed the station the other day when an inappropriate song came on.  I "almost" took the time to say thanks to the teacher in church who spiritually feeds me every Sunday.  I "almost" shared the good news of the gospel with those that I work with.  

The list goes on but here is the scary end of too many "almosts". In Matthew, Chapter 7 Jesus teaches:

Therefore whosoever heareth these sayings of mine, and doeth them, I will liken him unto a wise man, which built his house upon a rock:

And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house; and it fell not: for it was founded upon a rock.

And every one that heareth these sayings of mine, and doeth them not, shall be likened unto a foolish man, which built his house upon the sand:

And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house; and it fell: and great was the fall of it.

I love those verses and I want with everything that I have to hear, do, and be the wise man with his house built upon a rock.  What I am quickly realizing is that "Doeth them not"=Almost doing them.  There are too many things to do nothing and the things that need to be done are those things that will put me and my family in the place where my Heavenly Father is expecting me (and them) to be.  

I feel like I am at a "Jimmy Chitwood" crossroads right now.  You know the scene from Hoosiers with Jimmy Chitwood when he shows up at the town meeting and says those famous words, "I think it's time for me to start playing some ball."  Well, that is how I feel.  Not "almost" time to play some ball or time to "almost" play some ball.  It's time to play some ball.

Instant Motivation

Here is a short list of quotes that I visit from time to time to fill up the tank:

“To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.”  -Elbert Hubbard

“As you make your way through life, let this ever be your goal, keep your eye upon the donut and not upon the hole.” -Author Unknown

“We were born to succeed, not to fail.” -Henry David Thoreau

 “Our greatest natural resource is the minds of our children.” -Walt Disney

“Only those who dare to fail greatly, can ever achieve greatly.” -John F. Kennedy

“The great aim of education is not knowledge but action.”  -Herbert Spencer

“Statistically 100 percent of the shots you don’t take don’t go in.” -Wayne Gretzky

“The mediocre teacher tells.  The good teacher explains.  The superior teacher demonstrates.  The great teacher inspires.”  -William A. Ward

 

“Whether you think you can or whether you think you can’t-you’re right.” -Henry Ford

 “Be not afraid of growing slowly, be afraid only of standing still.” -Chinese Proverb

“No pressure, no diamonds.” -Mary Case

“Celebrate what you want to see more of.” -Thomas J. Peters

“If we did the things that we are capable of, we would astound ourselves.”  -Thomas Edison

“You can’t live a perfect day without doing something for someone who will never be able to repay you.”      -John Wooden

 

“May you live every day of your life.” -Jonathan Swift

“The journey is the reward.”  -Chinese Proverb

“Act as if what you do makes a difference.  It does.” -William James

“You may have a fresh start any moment you choose, for this thing that we call ‘failure’ is not the falling down, but the staying down.” -Mary Pickford

 

“The time is always right to do what is right.” -Martin Luther King Jr.

“You will never leave where you are until you decide where you would rather be.” -Dexter Yager

“I never worry about action, only inaction.” -Winston Churchill

“How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.” -Anne Frank

 

“People know you for what you’ve done, not for what you plan to do.” -Unknown Author

 

“Life is too short to be small.” -Benjamin Disraeli

“You must do the things you think you cannot do.” -Eleanor Roosevelt

“Intelligence is not enough.  Intelligence plus character—that is the goal of true education.” -Martin Luther King Jr.

 

“Each person must live their life as a model for others.” -Rosa Parks

“Coming together is a beginning.  Staying together is a process.  Working together is success.” -Henry Ford

 

“The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago.  The second best time is now.” -Chinese Proverb

 

“In times of change, learners inherit the earth, while the learned find themselves equipped to deal with a world that no longer exists.” -Eric Hoffer

“Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful committed citizens can change the world. Indeed it's the only thing that ever has.” -Margaret Mead

 “The superior man is modest in his speech, but exceeds in his actions.” -Confucius

 

“Success demands singleness of purpose.” -Vince Lombardi

 “Enthusiasm is the mother of effort, and without it nothing great was ever achieved.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson

 

“Be a dreamer. If you don't know how to dream, you're dead.”                 -Jim Valvano

“Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are.”  -John Wooden

 

“Don't let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do.” -John Wooden

“It's the little details that are vital. Little things make big things happen.” -John Wooden

“To improve you must be uncomfortable being comfortable and discontent with being content.” -John Wooden

 

“Always bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed is more important than any other.” -Abraham Lincoln

 “I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.” -Bill Cosby

“The most important single ingredient in the formula of success is knowing how to get along with people.”  -Theodore Roosevelt

 

“If there is no struggle, there is no progress.” -Frederick Douglass

“You must be the change you wish to see in the world.” -Mohandas Gandhi

“In this life we cannot do great things. We can only do small things with great love.” -Mother Theresa

 “If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with success unexpected in common hours.” -Henry David Thoreau

  

“The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.” -Eleanor Roosevelt

“If everyone is thinking alike then someone isn’t thinking.” -George S. Patton

“It's not what you look at that matters, it's what you see.”  -Henry David Thoreau

“It is a terrible thing to see and have no vision.” -Helen Keller

“A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.” -Winston Churchill

 

“Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference.” -Winston Churchill

“Great and good are seldom the same man.” -Winston Churchill

 

“Never, never, never give up.” -Winston Churchill

“Failure after long perseverance is much grander than never to have a striving good enough to be called a failure.” -George Eliot

 

“You see things; and you say, 'Why?' But I dream things that never were; and I say, ‘Why not?’”  -George Bernard Shaw

“Life is not easy for any of us. But what of that? We must have perseverance and above all confidence in ourselves. We must believe that we are gifted for something and that this thing must be attained.” -Marie Curie

 

“You can get help from teachers, but you are going to have to learn a lot by yourself, sitting alone in a room.” -Theodor Geisel (Dr. Seuss)

 

“What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.” -Oliver Wendell Holmes

 

“He who opens a school door, closes a prison.” -Victor Hugo

 

“Destiny is not a matter of chance, it is a matter of choice; it is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved.” -William Jennings Bryant

 

“We would accomplish many more things if we did not think of them as impossible.” -Vince Lombardi

 

“It always seems impossible until it’s done.” -Nelson Mandela

 

“We are all faced with a series of great opportunities brilliantly disguised as impossible situations.” -Charles R. Swindoll

 

“Progress is impossible without change, and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.”    -George Bernard Shaw

 

“One extends one's limits only by exceeding them.” -M. Scott Peck

 

“The human mind will not be confined to any limits.” -Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

 

“The only limits to the possibilities in your life tomorrow are the buts you use today.” -Les Brown

 “The thing I loved the most - and still love the most about teaching - is that you can connect with an individual or a group, and see that individual or group exceed their limits.” -Mike Krzyzewski

 

“There are no great limits to growth because there are no limits of human intelligence, imagination, and wonder.” -Ronald Reagan

Finding Perspective Beginning at the End

I had the opportunity the other day to cut away from work for an urgent 4 hour detour to sit on a bed and talk to a dear family friend (more family than friend) who is literally in engaged in a life and death battle with pancreatic cancer.  Sadly, she is losing.  She, and everyone in her world, knows it and is dealing with the "picking up the pieces" step of whatever process that comes with such catastrophic realization.

As I sat there talking with her, and even now a few days later, I cannot help but appreciate the powerful clarity of perspective that our conversation has brought to my life.  There is something about holding the hand of someone possibly for the last time or looking into the eyes of someone who knows they will not make it to next month, let alone next year.  That something for me was a Tuesdays With Morrie type of experience where I walked away with a resolve to live with my own end in mind and strive every day to build the life I have in my heart and in my mind to live.

Henry David Thoreau said it best when he wrote, "When it’s time to die, let us not discover that we have never lived."  I will have a time to die and as I think about what that end will feel like, I feel a drive to get the living end of things done right.  A long time ago, I wrote a few basic premises that I have used to guide my day to day living and when I left my friend I immediately made these words the background on my phone:

• I read and follow the word of God everyday.
• My family, faith, and health are vital to my happiness.
• I plan my day before I start my day.
• I am the one cleansed leper.
• I believe in Christ and I strive to be like Him at all times and in all places.
• I am a builder.
• It is more important to be trusted than loved and I am trustworthy.
• I know that through small things, great things can come to pass and I go about looking for such opportunities.
• I want the title of "friend" on my tombstone.
• I will be and do my best for those who love me because they deserve nothing less.
• I am open and honest about money and I consider it to be a servant, not a master.
• I understand that "life's a journey, not a destination and I just can't tell just what tomorrow will bring."
• I believe that there are "more with us than with them" and that there is truly nothing that is impossible, God willing.
• Becoming the person that I want to become will be accomplished only through the wise control of time, agency, talents, and situations.
• I will not fear, come what may.

My default list disclaimer is in effect with the items on this list as well.  Progress is slow across the board, but I am striving.  Some areas come easier than others but every item is a crucial link in my chain and I am only as strong as my weakest link.  Every day, I seem to be rethinking what this living is all about and experiences that I am being given are teaching me new things about what matters.  I am finding that my faith and happiness are built like a mosaic or a collage of moments that matter most.  It is faces, not places, that matter.  It is about building up the relationships with those around me that will bring me joy, success, fulfillment, peace, and love.  Everything else is irrelevant.

Now reason says that it cannot be that easy.  You know what?  Screw reason!  In my end, I will not care what freaking car is in my driveway.  I will not care what brand of clothes are in my closet.  I will not care how much money is on the good ol' prepaid.  I will care about those that I love.  Did I do right by them?  Did I teach what they will need to know BY THE WAY I LIVED MY LIFE?  Is there lamp in my oil?  Am I going out a conqueror?  Did I express love by word and deed?  Do others know that I knew and had a testimony of truth?  Did I love my neighbor like myself?  Did I seek, find, and share charity?  Did I forgive others?

These are the things that matter and these are the things that I hope will provide me perspective as I live, every day taking a step closer to that day when the night "cometh...wherein there can be no labor performed".  To my dear friend, I would sing (if I could sing) these words:

My old friend, I recall
The times we had are hanging on my wall
I wouldn't trade them for gold
Cause they laughed and they cry me and
somehow sanctify me
And they're woven in the stories I have told
And tell again

My old friend I apologize
For the years that have passed since the
last time you and I
Dusted off those memories
But the runnin' and the races and the
people and the places
there was always somewhere else I had to be
And time gets thin my old friend

Don't know why, don't know why
Don't know why, don't know why

My old friend this song's for you
Cause a few simple verses was the least that I could do
To tell the world that you were here
'Cause the love and the laughter will live on long after
All of the sadness and the tears
We'll meet again my old friend

Goodbye, Goodbye
Goodbye, Goodbye

My old friend
("My Old Friend", Tim McGraw)

Finally, in my mind's eye I picture one of the greatest ends ever and the eternal truths taught in the context of a simple conversation had between good friends, one of which happens to be on the way out.  Go with me, if you will, to Glenwood Springs, Colorado in 1887 and to the fictitious rendering of the farewell of Doc Holliday (who ironically died at the age of 36).  You will remember his words (in the movie anyways) to his dear friend Wyatt Earp:

Doc Holliday: What did you ever want?
Wyatt Earp: Just to live a normal life.
Doc Holliday: There's no normal life, Wyatt, it's just life. Get on with it.
Wyatt Earp: Don't know how.
Doc Holliday: Sure you do. Say goodbye to me. Go grab that spirited actress and make her your own. Take that beauty from it, don't look back. Live every second. Live right on to the end. Live Wyatt. Live for me. Wyatt, if you were ever my friend - if ya ever had even the slightest of feelin' for me, leave now. Leave now... Please.


I could not have said it better myself.  Here's to living with the end in mind.

Cup Check and Other Things

It is a rainy Saturday morning in June and I am eating a bowl of Oh's cereal (bottom of the box with the cereal "dust") thinking about things.  At this moment, I am 1/365th of the way through year 36 on this planet and I am taking inventory of my life and rethinking the world around me.

Maybe it's the John Mayer lyrics going through my head:

"Pain throws your heart to the ground
Love turns the whole thing around
No, it won't all go the way it should
But I know the heart of life is good"

Maybe it's more than that.  Maybe it is some crazy cocktail mix of an epic post by G-Money last week, the tail end of Atlas Shrugged, Thomas S. Monson ("the future is as bright as our faith"), Ether 12:4 ("hope for a better world"), last day of school euphoria, and the Mavericks coming back to beat the Heat.  Whatever it is, it's got me "checking my premises" and thinking about a whole lot of things:

Thing #1:

"Damn, it feels good to be me".  I am so incredibly blessed when I consider the people that I have in my life and the experiences that I have had.  I have health, family, friends, faith in the truth, bread, and a roof.  Yes, there is pain, loss, unanswered questions, ambition, a bigger waist than inseam pant size, and a mortgage payment for a house that is not worth the loan.  But, seriously?  I came in with nothing 36 years ago and I could lose it all tomorrow "in one turn of pitch and toss" and yet my heart would be full for what has been given. 

Taking it a step further, the blessed quotient goes off the chart when I consider what I have in the context of what I have done to "earn it".  I am not only a member of the Unprofitable Servant Club, but I am its President, Vice President, Secretary, and Seargent at Arms (what is that anyways?).  

Thing #2:

I think that I am wrong about the state of the world that we are living in.  I understand that things are not liked they used to be and there is a steady decline of all things good, but I think that I am underestimating the number of good people and the overall power of right in a world sliding towards the wrong.  You see, I am that guy who digs talking in social circles about the "signs of the times" and how the world is heading to hell in a hand basket.  I am always quick to cite world events and share an abundance of examples of what I consider to be "spiritual wickedness in high places".  But in doing this, I am finding myself turning a blind eye to the incredible goodness that still exists all around. 

Thing #3:

¡Basta ya!  (Translated=Enough!) Things as I see it have to change.  Things may not and probably will not change, so the way I see things has to change.  On this subject, I remember a lesson taught to me by a Mr. Benjamin Bush in a place another world away in a town called Rocha.  The setting is a rainy day and two young Americans are in a foreign hemisphere trying to share what they know to be true about God in rudimentary Spanish with the humble people of Uruguay.  Needless to say, we were not having any success and I was struggling.  I was pointing out everything that I didn't have, everything that was going wrong, everything that I had given up, and all of the rejection and persecution that I was receiving voluntarily at the hands of "these people" (sound familiar?).  It was then that Benjamin Bush changed my life.

He told me that it sounded to him like I needed a "cup check".  It was obvious that his idea of a "cup check" was not my idea of a "cup check" (not to be confused with the General Manager of the Lakers, Mitch Kupchak) .  He told me to check my premises and figure out why I was doing what I was doing.  He taught me that happiness is not dependent on ideal circumstances.  In fact, happiness was a choice and is 100% under my own control at all times and in all places.

This morning I think of that lesson and what it has meant to my life.  In the context of that day more than 15 years ago, I raise my of morning orange juice (half full) to Mr. Benjamin Bush (wherever you are) and I say let the world go where it is going be it fast or slow, but I will not let the choices of others distract me from my path or destination.  Nor will I let the current culture or climate dictate the way I see the world around me.  I will hold on to my belief that the heart of life is good.  I will hold out, believing that my neighbors are good people and that my country is created and preserved by God and led by well-intentioned people that may be misguided at times, not because they are bad, but because they are kept from the truth because they know not where to find it.

Thing #4:

Maybe it's because I am a Cub fan, but I believe that the good guys will eventually have their day and win.  After all, sure there are bad things happening all around us, but there are good things to.  Kids are learning about how to be like Jesus every Sunday in church.  People are accepting the gospel and being baptized like Jesus every day throughout the world.  Young and old men are taking upon themselves the authority to act like Jesus would act.  Every Sunday, millions of people around the world walk into church buildings beaten and bruised by worldly influences and walk out stronger saints healed by the gospel of Jesus.  Every Sunday, MY OWN SLATE IS MADE CLEAN through the atonement of Jesus and I get to try again to work out my salvation, forge my faith, and be better.  What more could I possibly ask for?

I know I, and others, have gone there already on this blog, but it really does boil down to the words of the poem/hymn, "I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day" written by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow:

"I heard the bells on Christmas day
Their old familiar carols play,
And wild and sweet the words repeat
Of peace on earth, good will to men.

I thought how, as the day had come,
The belfries of all Christendom
Had rolled along th’unbroken song
Of peace on earth, good will to men.

And in despair I bowed my head:
'There is no peace on earth,' I said,
'For hate is strong and mocks the song
Of peace on earth, good will to men.'

Then pealed the bells more loud and deep:
'God is not dead, nor doth he sleep;
The wrong shall fail, the right prevail,
With peace on earth, good will to men.'

Till, ringing, singing, on its way,
The world revolved from night to day,
A voice, a chime, a chant sublime,
Of peace on earth, good will to men!"

I will not be the guy who bows his head and doubts because of the current headlines and the decisions of those around him.

Last Thing:

This morning I have a new favorite scripture.  How can you not feel good about things when you read these words of revelation from the Prophet Joseph Smith...

"Now, what do we hear in the gospel which we have received? A voice of gladness! A voice of mercy from heaven; and a voice of truth out of the earth; glad tidings for the dead; a voice of gladness for the living and the dead; glad tidings of great joy.

Brethren, shall we not go on in so great a cause? Go forward and not backward. Courage, brethren; and on, on to the victory! Let your hearts rejoice, and be exceedingly glad. Let the earth break forth into singing. 

Let the mountains shout for joy, and all ye valleys cry aloud; and all ye seas and dry lands tell the wonders of your Eternal King! And ye rivers, and brooks, and rills, flow down with gladness. Let the woods and all the trees of the field praise the Lord; and ye solid rocks weep for joy! And let the sun, moon, and the morning stars sing together, and let all the sons of God shout for joy! And let the eternal creations declare his name forever and ever! And again I say, how glorious is the voice we hear from heaven, proclaiming in our ears, glory, and salvation, and honor, and immortality, and eternal life; kingdoms, principalities, and powers!"

Rain in June and cereal dust be damned!  Forward, not backward.  Courage, brethren!  Good times have been ours and are ours now.  I do not doubt that all things are possible and our best days are yet to come.  

There are no Guarantees, I Guarantee it

Have you ever seen old boxing footage where the one boxer shakes a fist up in the air to get his opponent to look up and at that moment he swings with his other hand and pops him in the face?  If not you're missing out on some classic stuff.   It seems so ridiculous that someone would fall for that.  How does a professional in the heat of the battle take his eye off the prize?  I guess the easy answer is that we all lose concentration sometimes,  we all look away from the goal for a moment or two.  We tell ourselves it was only one time,  I wont let that happen again.  And then POW!  we are out for the count.


Sounds pretty dramatic I know.  I wish it were just theatrics to get your attention.  The reality is that it doesn't do real life justice.  In my life I have seen people that I have loved and respected, people that I put on a pedastal of greatness, people that impacted my life and influenced me to do good when I didn't think I could,  people that if you asked me at the time if they would ever fall away, the answer would be an emphatic no,  these people have fallen away on forbidden paths.  Seeing this has shaken me to my very foundation.  I thought to myself, if this could happen to them I don't stand a chance.  I have questioned my own faith in seeing these loved ones walk away.    The only thing more sobering than witnessing these great ones fall has been seeing the collateral damage they have left in their wake as families are destroyed and children are heart broken.

There are no guarantees in life.   After seeing these things and taking them in I finally began to see the great happiness, peace, and blessings that come from living the gospel, and the great tragedy, sadness, and destruction that comes from turning from the Lord.  We know what we are supposed to do.  We know how to get where we need to go.  We have to keep our eye on the prize, ignore the background noise,  push forward because our very lives depend on it.  In the Book of Mormon there is a reference to the Iron Rod and it talks about how those that made it down the path were "clinging" to the rod.  They weren't walking next to it.  They didn't just have it in sight.  They were clinging to it  because their lives depended on it.

I think about the examples in my life often.  I think about those great leaders and friends that have influenced me for good and I do my best to follow their examples.  I also think about those that I love and cry for that have made choices to that put them in situations where they have not recovered and I remind myself how easy it is to lose site of the goal.  Remember,  when those distractions come and they will come,  cling to that rod, put your head down and push through.  That's my strategy, what keeps me going is I know you all will be there waiting for me. 

G-Money

So...You Want to be Great

I have an honest and sincere confession to make...I want to be great.  I really do not wake up in the morning at ridiculously early times and say to myself, "Let's go do something mediocre today." Or, even better, "Hey, let's go be completely forgettable to everyone that we come in contact with today."  Whether it is as a husband, father, principal, son, friend, or mormon I want to be great at it. 

Now the reasons for this push (sometimes it is more like a subtle nudge) to be great are various and sundry and they are probably not what you are expecting.  You see, I do not want to be great for my sake.  I want to be great for three reasons:

1. The people in my life deserve greatness from me.  When I give less than I can (intentionally or unintentionally)  I cheat them.
2. Wanting to do great things and be great pushes me to live life, not survive life.  It forces me to be proactive and "blow up the box".  It drives me to leave comfort zones and constantly reflect on who I am vs. who I want to be.
3. It is ridiculous to build a mediocre life on the foundational belief that we are children of God.  Those two notions are mutually exclusive.  They cannot exist in the same being.  Where one is, the other cannot be.  If we are content with a mediocre life, then we have lost our testimonies of our divine heritage.  On the contrary, if we consistently remember who we are, then we will never be found settling for anything less than the path that leads to great things.

Point #3 reminds me of one of my favorite quotes.  It is written by Mary Ann Williamson, and was used by Nelson Mandela in his Inaugural Address in 1994 (also in a cool scene in Coach Carter):

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us most. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and famous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that people won't feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in all of us. And when we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

At this point in the program, let me clearly state the obvious and say that I am not great.  Granted, all things are relative and I am so much farther on the road than when I started, but the fact is that there is still a long way to go.  There are times that the disconnect between who and what I want to be and who and what I actually am is frustrating and discouraging.  The reasons for the gap are many and perhaps that is a topic (or several topics) for another day and another post (Resource: "Your Potential, Your Privilege"), but there are two certainties: Everyday, I am either getting closer or moving farther away and my progress (or lack thereof) will be directly proportional to the degree that I apply the atonement of Jesus Christ in my life.

I found the following words in studying the life of a truly great modern day prophet of God, Howard W. Hunter and they speak comfort and patience to me as I strive to live great:

“There is no such thing as instant greatness. This is because the achievement of true greatness is a long-term process. It may involve occasional setbacks. The end result may not always be clearly visible, but it seems that it always requires regular, consistent, small, and sometimes ordinary and mundane steps over a long period of time. . . .

“True greatness is never a result of a chance occurrence or a one-time effort or achievement. It requires the development of character. It requires a multitude of correct decisions for the everyday choices between good and evil. . . .

“As we evaluate our lives, it is important that we look, not only at our accomplishments, but also at the conditions under which we have labored. We are all different and unique individuals. We have each had different starting points in the race of life. We each have a unique mixture of talents and skills. We each have our own set of challenges and constraints to contend with".

These words give me hope and help me to know that there is no shortcut to being great and doing great things.  In fact, the irony of greatness is that it is formed by the "ordinary and mundane steps over a long period of time".  Hopefully life will be long enough for me to get in enough "baby steps" to get there.

Wise Words from Abraham Lincoln

Last week I was able to take my kids on a spontaneous day to the happiest place on earth...Disneyland.  Now, that alone is a blog entry but I wanted to focus on one moment in the park.  We went to the "Great Moments with Mr. Lincoln" show in the theater on Main Street.  I am not sure if anyone out there has had the experience of seeing the show but it boils down to a life-like Abraham Lincoln standing and addressing the audience.  Read very carefully what he says:


"The world has never had a good definition of the word "liberty". The American people, just now, are much in want of one. We all declare for liberty. But in using the same word, we do not all mean the same thing.
What constitutes the bulwark of our liberty and independence? It is not our frowning embattlements, our bristling sea coasts. These are not our reliance against tyranny. Our reliance is in the love of liberty, which God has planted in our bosoms. Our defense is in the preservation of the spirit which prizes liberty as the heritage of all men, in all lands everywhere. Destroy this spirit, and you have planted the seeds of despotism around your own doors.

"At what point shall we expect the approach of danger? By what means shall we fortify against it? Shall we expect some trans-Atlantic military giant to step the ocean and crush us in a blow? Never. All the armies of Europe, Asia, and Africa combined could not, by force, take a drink from the Ohio or make a track on the Blue Ridge in a trial of a thousand years. At what point, then, is the approach of danger to be expected?

"I answer that if it ever reach us, it must spring from amongst us. It cannot come from abroad. If destruction be our lot, we ourselves must be the authors and finishers. As a nation of free men, we must live through all times, or die by suicide.

"Let reverence for the law be breathed by every American mother to the listing babe that prattles on her lap. Let it be taught in the schools, in the seminaries, and in the colleges. Let it be written in primers, in spelling books and almanacs. Let it be preached from the pulpit, proclaimed in legislative halls, and enforced in courts of justice. And in short, let it become the political religion of the nation. And let the old and the young, the rich and the poor, the grave and the gay, of all sexes, and tongues, and colors, and conditions, sacrifice unceasingly at its altar.

"And let us strive to deserve, as far as mortals may, the continued care of Divine Providence, trusting that, in future national emergencies, He will not fail to provide us the instruments of safety and security.
Neither let us be slandered from our duty by false accusations against us, or frightened from it by menaces of the destruction to the government, nor of dungeons to ourselves. Let us have faith that right makes might. And in that faith, let us to the end, dare to do our duty as we understand it."

The speech is actually a compilation of speeches from President Lincoln but I find the accuracy and the timeliness of his words to be chilling.  It is a great reminder from a great man that as a nation we are in constant need of divine providence and that our love of freedom is our saving grace.  We should not be surprised, but we should be gravely concerned whenever and where ever we see these values and principles under attack, especially when we see it from within.  Something to think about...

 

Ideas that Can Change the World...Mark 9:24

There is something about this story that hits me in the heart every time that I read.  Personally, the verse has changed me and it epitomizes what the gospel does for us as individuals.  Because of the impact of this simple statement of faith, I think that its words resonate an idea that can truly change the world.

It may have been a while since you stumbled on this one so let me refresh your memory with the back story.  In this chapter Jesus meets a man who has brought his son that has been cursed with a "dumb spirit".  The father brought the son to the disciples of Jesus to have the spirit cast out but the disciples were not able to do so.  Jesus asked for the son to be brought to him.  Jesus then asks how long the son has been in this condition and the father says that he has been like this since he was a child.  After the father begs for compassion and help from the savior, Jesus teaches him that "If thou canst believe, all things are possible to him that believeth."  And then we read...

 

As a father, there are so many things that hit hard in this one verse.  I think of a struggling father who has felt years of pain and agony as he has watched his son suffer.  I think of the hope that he had harbored, believing in the miracles that he had heard Christ and his disciples performing.  Then I picture the man straightway crying out, "Lord, I believe; help thou mine unbelief".

What a tremendous example this man is to me.  Too often, I think I become somewhat complacent in my own faith and testimony of what I know to be true.  I sometimes think that I am living off of "borrowed light" or spiritual strength from experiences in my past.  What this verse teaches me is that I should be going to my God and asking for help in those areas where I lack faith, and there are plenty!  This idea of asking God, through the Atonement of His Son Jesus Christ to help me in "mine unbelief" is a principle of salvation and if we apply this teaching to our lives, we will become better husbands, fathers, and men.  Indeed, this idea can change the world as we know it.

Blowing up the box

Labels are interesting things.  They are pretty much unavoidable.  No matter where you go you are going to have interactions with people and those people are going to make quick snap judgements about who you are.  They will believe that they have you figured out after the very first meeting.  After that they want you to stay inside of the box they just created for you.  The interesting thing about that is we tend not to venture too far from that box for fear of going through the painful labeling process all over again.  So we stay inside the prescribed area trying our hardest to be what they want us to be.

Even more odd than the labels given to us by strangers are the labels we give ourselves.  We spend so much time around other people and feeling like we need to impress those people that we pick up on the labels they might like and we start to live inside the self induced box.

I have the uncomfortable reality right now in my life to be surrounded by all new people.  I have left my friends behind and now am in a strange new place meeting strange new people every day.  So now I am going through the process of being labeled and given the box that people expect me to live in.

Change is good though.  I am forced to either accept what others want me to be,  or try to be what I think they want.  Or we have another choice,  be who we are.  I have learned over my years in service that there isn't a label or box we have to live within to be a positive force in peoples lives.  As long as I remember the one truth,  I am a child of God,  I can be whoever and whatever I want and still do good.  Labels mean nothing as long as I remember that.    So for those of you wanting to know who I am here you go:

I am

1. Punk Rock Listening
2. Skateboarding
3. Loud music jamming
4. Sports loving
5. Sarcastic
6. movie crying
7. General Conference loving
8. fun loving
9. love to laugh 
10. lullaby singing
11. kid loving
12. story reading
13. homework helping
14. hug and kiss giving
15. husband 
16. father
17. Gospel loving
18. scripture reading 
19. God loving
20. Wife loving
21. Son of God

I am sure there are some labels people want to add to the list that I can't print on this G rated blog.  Being different is good.  We don't have to fall in line. Those things that make us unique are what makes the Gospel work.  Those experiences that make us unique are what has the real impact in peoples lives.  Those things that make us unique are what makes people either embrace us or move on.  It's OK if people move on and don't want what you are,  such is life.  We don't need to sell out who we are and what are life experiences were in order to fit inside of a box.  The only thing that matters is that we stay true to being Children of God and the teachings of the Gospel.  If we can do this everything else will fall in line.

Manvotional: Hank Reardon on the Value of Hard Work

I don't know about you, but sometimes there are moments when I am into a great movie when I just want to stand and applaud.  Maybe it is a feeling of joy or elation (Hoosiers), or respect and reverence (Mr. Holland's Opus), or the awe of achievement (Tombstone...you know when Doc Holliday kills Ringo).  It does not happen often but when it does it is awfully tough to sit there and do/feel nothing.

Well, last night I had that experience with a book.  Men everywhere, (all 3 of you) take a second and read these words from the character of Hank Reardon in Ayn Rand's Atlas Shrugged (1957) and you tell me if he does not have a set:

(A little context, Hank is in court facing ridiculous, but true, charges that he broke the law by selling his own metal product to a legitimate customer instead of giving it away to public for the "public good")

"No, I do not want my attitude to be misunderstood.  I shall be glad to state it for the record.  I am in full agreement with the facts of everything said about me in the newspapers--with the facts, but not with the evaluation.  I work for nothing but my own profit--which I make by selling a product they need to men who are willing and able to buy it.  I do not produce it for their benefit at the expense of mine, and they do not buy it for my benefit at the expense of theirs; I do not sacrifice my interests to them nor do they sacrifice theirs to me; we deal as equals by mutual consent to mutual advantage--and I am proud of every penny that I have earned in this manner.  I am rich and I am proud of every penny I own.  I made my money by my own effort, in free exchange and through the voluntary consent of every man I dealt with--the voluntary consent of those who employed me when I started, the voluntary consent of those who work for me now, the voluntary consent of those who buy my product.  I shall answer all the questions you are afraid to ask me openly.  Do I wish to pay my workers more than their services are worth to me?  I do not.  Do I wish to sell my product for less than my customers are willing to pay me?  I do not.  Do I wish to sell it at a loss or give it away?  I do not.  If this is evil, do whatever you please about me, according to whatever standards you hold.  These are mine.  I am earning my own living, as every honest man must.  I refuse to accept as guilt the fact of my own existence and the fact that I must work in order to support it.  I refuse to accept as guilt the fact that I am able to do it and do it well.  I refuse to accept as guilt the fact that I am able to do it better than most people--the fact that my work is of greater value than the work of my neighbors and that more men are willing to pay me.  I refuse to apologize for my ability--I refuse to apologize for my success--I refuse to apologize for my money.  If this is evil, make the most of it.  If this is what the public finds harmful to its interests, let the public destroy me.  This is my code--and I will accept no other.  I could say to you that I have done more good for my fellow men than you can ever hope to accomplish--but I will not say it, because I do not seek the good of others as a sanction for my right to exist, no do I recognize the good of others as a justification for their seizure of my property or their destruction of my life.  I will not say that the good of others was the purpose of my work--my own good was my purpose, and I despise the man who surrenders his.  I could say to you that you do not serve the public good--that nobody's good can be achieved at the price of human sacrifices--that when you violate the rights of one man, you have violated the rights of all, and a public of rightless creatures is doomed to destruction.  I could say to you that you will and can achieve nothing but universal devastation--as any looter must, when he runs out of victims.  I could say it, but I won't.  It is not your particular policy that I challenge, but your moral premise.  If it were true that men could achieve their good by means of turning some men into sacrificial animals, and I were asked to immolate myself for the sake of creatures who wanted to survive at the price of my blood, if I were asked to serve the interests of society apart from, above and against my own--I would refuse.  I would reject if as the most contemptible evil, I would fight it with every power I possess.  I would fight the whole of mankind, if one minute were all I could last before I were murdered, I would fight in the full confidence of the justice of my battle and of a living being's right to exist.  Let there be no misunderstanding about me.  If it is now the belief of my fellow men, who call themselves the public, that their mood requires victims, then I say: The public good be damned, I will have no part of it!" (Pg. 444-445)

I admire the principle and the line in the sand that is drawn from his convictions.  In a crazy world where relative standards abound, Hank Reardon reaches a point where he has had enough.  And I appreciate his courage here in the context of this scene to say enough is enough and to let his persecutors and the world know where he stands regarding their actions and beliefs.  The message is capitalism 101 and the notions that he captures are more and more out of touch with where we as a country are going, but make no mistake about, his convictions are what this country was founded on.  The core belief that man must work for his daily bread and that a man should take pride (good pride, not bad pride) in his abilities to do his work.  Hank Reardon may come across short on compassion and service to others but his message resonates as a manvotional to the value and virtue of hard work and the right of men (and women) everywhere to work out a life for himself and for those he loves.  Remember the words of a prophet of God...

"Let us realize that: the privilege to work is a gift, the power to work is a blessing, the love of work is success!"--David O. McKay

Things A Man Should Be Able To Do...

Before I dive in to the list of things I think a man should be able to do, I want to let you in on the premise.  I am adamant in my disdain for excuses in life.  I believe that we have all been dealt a hand and it is our job to play the hand that has been dealt.  That being said, I want you to know that the hand that I was dealt growing up was essentially devoid of day to day interaction with positive male role models.  Great women, bad men.  My father, who I am named after, was nonexistent and is currently incarcerated in Alabama, hopefully for a long time.  I am 35 and I have never seen the man.  In fact, I was a married man in my late twenties the first time I sincerely used the term "dad" and I only used it once.  Again, these are not excuses.  It may sound crazy, but I would not have it any other way.  First of all, it's done and I cannot have it any other way.  Secondly, it is the only way I ever knew.  That is the mix of life's elements, the cards dealt, that made me.  

Going through it, I never fully realized the impact that this had on me.  Now, fortunately for me, over time the holes were eventually filled in with great men (a wonderful stepfather, church leaders, and dear friends) and I was able to learn from them what little I know about being a good man.  Even now, I find myself gleaning bits and pieces of things that make a good man as I witness examples around me.  Standing where I am now as a novice husband and father, I have in my mind a picture of the man I want to be.  And that picture is formed by skills a man should have.  Thus the list:
   
Do a pull-up
Bowl a strike
Climb up a rope
Sharpen a knife
Build something made of wood that lasts
Evolve
Say sorry
Chop wood
Change oil
Fly fish and gut what you catch
Quote Tombstone
Say "I love you"
Prune a tree
Tie a fishing hook
Shoot a gun, and hit what you aim at
Defend his God, his family, and his home
Know when to hold 'em, and know when to fold 'em
Know when to walk away, and know when to run
List 10 books that changed his life
Clear the ladies' tees
Testify of truth to anyone that will listen, especially his own family
Write a love letter
Clean up puke
Debate who's the greatest NFL quarterback ever
Say what needs to be said
Balance a checkbook
Correctly spell homonyms like to, two, and too
Go to bed mad
Answer at least 5 questions per Jeopardy episode
Recite word for word at least 3 old school hip hop classics
Jump start a car
Throw a spiral
Sleep anywhere
Recite the Articles of Faith
Hold a current temple recommend
Use a plumb bob
Vote his conscience
Speak his mind
Hold his tongue
Answer the call whenever it comes
Hit a baseball
Shoot 70% from the line
Give a eulogy
Order a salad
Inspire the rising generation
Make a hole in one in miniature golf
Talk your way out of a fight
Know CPR
Look the other way (see 2 Samuel 11:2)
Run like Joseph (see Genesis 39:12)



Take it or leave it, but that is my list.  It is my archetype for what I want to be and what I will try to instill in my boy.  Now, the list is a glimpse and it is not designed to be all-inclusive.  In fact, I am eager to see the contributions of others to this list.  I also want to note that I cannot do everything on this list and that is why I am hoping that God gives me time.  Time to use to become a good man.